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Dialogue Between Aspirant And Master Part 4—Self Realization
Question:
(Master/teacher/ My self) I wanted to thank you from the Self
I have a question and I think I know the answer...but I will ask for
verification
I know the ultimate understanding is that Nothing is true! "I"
don’t exist-and therefore everything is zero. When everything is zero
and I don’t exist...there is no liberation, no bondage. There is nothing
and nothing is therefore (belongs to me i.e. thoughts, feelings, actions)
mine. If I don’t exist, where is sin and where is virtue, where is mind
and no mind? , where are fears and desires? Nothing is yours because
I don’t exist." I think of this and I fall deeper in to the Self--and
I know that once this becomes a deep understanding it is all over!
I guess my question is how do I take this from the intellectual level
to the experiential level... how do I churn the masters teachings?
I apologize if this question seems moot!
Something tells me that I should just forget it! That is all! Forget
it, that the question itself stops me from experiencing it
My practice is going well...even though my life and business keeps me
busy I never for one second delude myself as being the body./mind, I
am aware that I am the self and yet I still have this deep yearning
for the self!
I have this passion for the self, I take 2 hour walks a day just forgetting-
(and most of the walk I am not aware of the body, I just enquire and
abide in the self (by forgetting-sit in my silence) I could walk 4-5
hours and I would not know it
I find it easier than just sitting down...I forget everything...just
noticing appearances and thoughts if they do come up...for the most
part there is just silence...
Answer:
The thought appeared to write to you today to see how you are doing,
and your email appeared soon after.
There is obviously not much to say in response to your email. You have
listened and applied what has been said and are seeing for yourself
the truth in the pointing. The pointer is not what is being pointed
to. All words and thoughts are false ephemeral appearances that have
no independent existence. The seer, the seeing, the seen (thoughts)
are known to be one in the most profound non-conceptual understanding.
When you contacted me originally, I told you to practice forgetting
for some time because it was clear that you had accumulated many "spiritual"
concepts and were still carrying some practices from the past which
were no longer needed. Don't build up a concept about the practice of
forgetting, or hold any concept about forgetting. So, in other words,
it's ok to forget the forgetting and the one who is doing any forgetting.
It sounds like you have begun to get a taste for this already.
Your nature is truly changeless and all thoughts and appearances come
and go. This becomes obvious to one whose mind has become subtle and
who does not lend any lingering interest to the passing appearances.
There really is no need to negate anything. It's ok if the thought appears
that "this is just a thought and not who I am," but that also
is just a passing appearance, there is no need to give it the added
importance that it is something that needs to be negated, if you follow.
Your statement is quite profound that questions are from ego. This is
true on one level. When there are questions, it is basically a fascination,
or the lingering interest in a passing appearance. Another way of saying
it is that it is taking the appearance to be true, or to lend it some
semblance of reality.
Losing the body consciousness is a good thing to experience and be familiar
with. You are truly bodiless. Have no doubt about this. The body appearance
is like a covering on yourself. Sometimes it may be there and sometimes
not. Either way, you must be firm in your understanding that all appearances
and experiences are not true, they have no separate existence in themselves.
Functioning of the body appearance will be there as long as the body
is drawing breath. Sometimes the noticing of the intellect and thinking
that are required to steer the activities of the body will be going
on and at other times, there may be no noticing of the body or senses
or thoughts. All of these appearances and experiences have a beginning
and an end. You remain unchanged as you are, as you always were, and
as you will always be. Do not be fooled by any thoughts that the noticing
of the functioning of the body are in any way binding. Be firm in your
understanding that all appearances are untrue and you stand unaffected.
Know that all appearances and experiences arise from nothing and return
to nothing, and that so many things will come and go, but you remain
unaffected. There is a saying that what comes from nothing and returns
to nothing never really ever became something. Understand that even
while appearances appear, nothing is really happening. Not holding to
any concept about yourself or appearances is to be free from the imagined
bondage of concepts about appearances.
You cannot go wrong with the teachings of Shri
Siddharameshwar Maharaj. It is truly a joy to be able to share these
teachings with one who actually listens and takes to heart what is said.
Your joy is my joy, and un-asked for reward, for serving my Guru, and
his Guru.