Dialogue Between Aspirant And Master Part 5—Self Realization and Meditation

Question: I have begun forgetting and I have one thing to ask...
I feel nothing, there are no thoughts coming up for the most part, and when they do arise I don’t identify with the mind or body anymore...I forget them as they arise...I abide in the changeless and see them float by...and the question I have is this...I feel because I have been making lots of effort in the past that by not remembering the self I may forget the self...I also feel like I have to search for thoughts so I may forget them...sounds silly... guess when you are walking in the concept free state, the mind struggles to find a concept of any sort...I forget the bodies name, I forget I am , I forget all I know. I forget myself everything that comes into my consciousness...I just thought I should bring this to your attention,

Answer: What you are speaking about is one of the reasons that I told you to forget everything. Your mind is in the habit of always wanting to do something, to put in some effort, to repeat the same line of thinking again and again, etc. This old approach has nothing to do with the Self, your 'true nature.'

Searching for some thoughts is still only mental activity. Just more thoughts that come and go. You can forget about this approach as well. There should be no effort to search for, or assert any thoughts, or really even to forget them. Simply notice that once they are gone, they are gone. Also, there is no walking in a "concept free state." This is just another concept. If there are no concepts, then there is no walker. The notion of a walker is just a thought that comes and goes like all others. There is no such thing as walking in a no concept state. If something is a state, take it for granted that it has a beginning and an ending.

You do not need to worry about forgetting the Self. or remembering the Self. These are only thoughts as well. Any thought about the Self is not the Self, but merely an appearance on this changeless substratum, like ripples on the surface of the ocean. Anything that appears and disappears cannot be who you are. You are existing before the appearance and remain after the appearance, be it the thought of a chair or the thought of Self.

Do not worry about losing your true Self, it is not possible. Every idea or notion that you have ever had about the Self, who you really are, are just thoughts. Thus, it is said that no thought has ever defined you, and you never became any appearance. All appearances and thoughts are false. The more you dwell on them, or the more importance that you give to the thoughts (and questions), the more you take them to be true and real. Forgetting is sometimes called letting go, but really it is more of a simply noticing that there is nothing that you can really hold on to. Every appearance is sure to pass. By not giving any importance to passing thoughts, they lose their energy and are less likely to arise again. And if they do, simply notice that they arise and disappear, and all the while you remain unaffected.

When you forget everything, there is only one thing that remains. This is the changelessness that is aware of all of the comings and goings. This is not a conceptual assertion of "I Am" noticing the forgetting. For example, take the space in a room. The room may be filled with all sorts of objects, furniture, etc., but whether the room is full of objects or empty of objects, the space remains the same space whether it is occupied or unoccupied. The space contains and permeates all that appears and disappears within it. Your nature is like space. Simply notice the comings and goings, or if you can maintain a state of forgetfulness for some period of time where there is no coming and going of any 'thing' simply be the space without any concept of being space. As the space, you will also notice that even the state of forgetfulness will also pass, as all states do, yet still, you remain unaffected by both forgetfulness and remembrance.

You need not worry for anything. Accept that all is as it should be. All is already perfect, there is no "other" place that you have to get to, and you cannot lose your Self. That which can be lost is false. All appearances are like fleeting ephemeral vapors which have no substance. Do not get hung up on any appearances no matter how real or important you believe them to be. Everything that you have thought about your Self and Reality is not true. All of your thoughts are only passing appearances. You are That which sees all appearances come and go while remaining unaffected.

Become more and more identified with this non-conceptual changelessness and all is naturally resolved. Thoughts and appearances come and go, you need not worry about them, or wrestle with them and try to figure them out, or even negate them. Simply notice that they do not define or affect you in any way. It is only when you give undue importance or interest to particular thoughts and appearances that you lend them a sense of reality. This is particularly true of so-called "spiritual" thoughts. Aspirants tend to think that spiritual thoughts are somehow more true or real than other thoughts and get caught up in believing that somehow spiritual thinking is "more true" or "more real" than thoughts about other things such as washing the dishes, or taking out the trash, or going to work, for example. All are just passing appearances.

Forget about your worries and all that you have learned or practiced so far, and stick to this simple investigation into, and noticing of, what is changeless and what is not, and become more and more identified with the changeless